What is the catalyst that’s prompting you to read about emotional intelligence and people intelligence?
Are you struggling at work? Is your relationship failing? Do you find yourself alone and isolated?
Or, are you just curious if you’re functioning to the best of your ability? Are you looking to achieve a new goal? Are you wondering how to get there?
The last blog explored how critical both emotional intelligence (an awareness and understanding of one’s emotions) and people intelligence (an awareness and understanding of others’ emotions) both are for personal and professional success.
Now, it’s important to identify where you are on the scale of understanding. If one or more of these statements describes you, it’s time to take your lack of emotional intelligence and people intelligence seriously, for your own sake:
1. You Frequently Get Into Arguments
If you’re always in a fight, there is cause for concern. Someone who is emotionally intelligent is able to control their own emotions – they aren’t guided or controlled by them. If you’re in control of you, but have a hard time setting boundaries with others, you likely lack the people intelligence needed to act rather than react. Both ends of the spectrum can lead to contention, whether you’re the one instigating the argument or not.
2. You Would Rather Remove Yourself from an Emotional Situation
When emotions run high, what’s your first reaction? If ignoring the emotional state of yourself or others (or running in the opposite direction) is at the top of your to-do list, you don’t have the tools you need to analyze and understand what’s going on inside you and anyone else involved, but removing yourself isn’t going to help.
3. You Blame Others for Your Problems
No one can make you do or feel anything you don’t want to, but if you play the blame game all the time, you don’t know or understand that and you clearly have little to zero ability to take responsibility for your own existence. That’s not going to translate to success.
4. You Feel Misunderstood
If everyone else is crazy but you, it might be time to start looking in the mirror. While it can be hard to hear negative feedback about how you relate to others or the actions you take (or don’t take), it’s important not to lean on the feeling of being misunderstood as you would a crutch. You might not always communicate perfectly and that’s okay, and it’s something you can work at.
5. You Find It Difficult to Train, Coach or Mentor Others
Understanding yourself (your emotional intelligence) is one thing. Building a rapport with another individual, one with their own unique set of emotions (people intelligence), is another. In a professional setting, it might be harder than ever, since there are likely societal norms that govern how you communicate with your trainee or employee. If you are finding it nearly impossible to train, coach or mentor, maybe it’s time to take a closer look at the inner workings of what you’re trying to say and how you’re trying to say it.
6. You Struggle to Form and Maintain Healthy Friendships
No friends? Depending on your personality type, this fact might severely bother you, or it may not. Still, everyone needs human friendship and if you can’t make connections with others, there’s likely a lot of emotional and people intelligence learning left for you.