Personality assessments can be transformative for the individual who wants to gain insight into why they do what they do, particularly if they have a goal of succeeding in a long-term relationship with another person. Namely, marriage.
Despite what romance novels and Hollywood movies would like you to believe, it’s not possible to find another person who perfectly complements you in every way without any conflict whatsoever. The fact is, everyone has different motivations, communication styles and sensitive spots, and it’s highly likely that when two individuals decide to partner together for life, there is going to be friction along the way.
Maybe you’ve already been married for decades, but old patterns and behaviors bring you and your spouse back to the same old argument over and over again. Maybe you’re planning on committing for life, but you’d like to equip yourself with more tools to overcome challenges before they present themselves in married life.
For each and every situation in between these two scenarios, our personality assessments can help, and there are four main ways they do so:
1. You Recognize Your Own Weaknesses
Our personality assessments show areas of strength and areas where you may have gaps. In the context of a relationship, it may be easier to examine the other person and find exactly where they need to change. Unfortunately, we don’t see people as they are, we see them as we are.
But what about you? Where do you fall short? Like it or not, for every personality types strength, that personality type also has a weakness. The first step to working on weaknesses is to identify them.
2. You See Your Unrealistic Expectations of Your Partner
You’re high on the dominant scale. You have what we call an Angry Brain – you get things done, and you get things done quickly. You are constantly wondering why your submissive partner doesn’t handle problems the way you do – head-on and without hesitation.
You’re expecting them to respond the same way you do and you get frustrated when they don’t. This is an unrealistic expectation to have of a spouse with a personality type on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum. If you continue holding them to your own personal expectations, you’re only going to be very disappointed. Your level of disappointment is always based on your level of expectation.
A better method is to work on understanding their personality and brain type. If you figure out how to complement each other rather than competing and comparing, you’re going to have a more loving, accepting relationship. Appreciate their strengths – it is highly likely they have strengths you don’t, especially if your personality is drastically different!
3. You Spot Conflict Triggers
Understanding is one of the key foundations to conflict avoidance. On the other hand, not recognizing where your partner is coming from is one of the sure conflict triggers. Misunderstanding is the mother of all human conflicts.
A spouse that is decisive and sure versus a spouse that likes taking their time to think things through (because it doesn’t feel safe) may clash. To the swift decision-maker, the other appears slow. To the helper it seems like the other doesn’t care. From both perspectives, understanding why their spouse acts the way they do, appreciating them for who they are and recognizing their underlying irritation before it takes over behavior can prevent major conflict.
4. You Realize It’s Possible to Change
The biggest takeaway from personality assessments should be this: it is possible to harmonize. Nobody is all one style all of the time. There are countless variations. Your “type” should never be a cop-out for bad behavior in a relationship or an excuse not to respect your partner’s brain differences. What finding your type can do is help you understand how you can better bridge the gap between how each thinks and connect with your spouse.
Let’s schedule a time to talk about how our unbeatable personality assessments can help you reach a new level of love and intimacy in your relationship.